Unfortunately, it will not be a big exaggeration to say that many of us in our lives were directly or indirectly subjected to emotional blackmail. And, what is the most unpleasant in this situation, is that such blackmail comes from the closest or even dear people to you who know all your spiritual qualities. And with which they seek to use. It is not for nothing that psychologists attribute emotional blackmail to one of the most painful types of blackmail, because an attempt to manipulate a loved one is very difficult for him. In this regard, it makes sense to talk about this problem in more detail, which we will do in this article.
How to deal with emotional blackmail
And we will begin with the fact that we will try to figure out what it is – emotional blackmail, and what are its signs? Understand that they are trying to emotionally blackmail you is not so difficult. Firstly, this should come from a person close to you, and, secondly, the essence of this requirement is always one. It is as follows – if you do not do what I want, you will regret it. Of course, this is briefly and in fact. Although there are some more signs by which you can find out the emotional blackmailer. For example, usually he begins his speech with the words “If you love me or, as an option, if I am dear to you, then you must do what I want”. Quite often, you can also find the following motivation with such blackmailers – you must do something for us or for our relationship.
If the emotional blackmaist is refused, then he will not listen to your arguments – most likely he will go to threats. What to do in this case? There can be only one advice – do not follow the blackmail and try to resist him.
As psychologists say, quite often emotional blackmailers resort to another common method of pressure on the object of blackmail. They scare him by reducing his authority in the eyes of other people, whose opinion is important to him. This can be expressed in different ways. For example, they can tell you that if you do not go about the blackmailer, then all your relatives will find out what bad mother you are. Or the blackmailer will tell your friends about how bad you are your wife and so on. There may be a lot of options. But here you should not do everything that blackmaker requires you at this time. Try to endure, pull the time, do not show the blackmailer until he calmed down that you are stronger than him. This can lead to unpredictable consequences on his part, because he is used to being the first and own the situation.
How to deal with emotional blackmail
Wait until the emotional intensity of the blackmailer is a little weaken. To do this, you can use the following methods – tell him that you will respond to his request a little later, not now. Motivate this by the fact that this is a difficult question for you, you need to weigh everything and think. Be sure to voice the blackmail your thought that you will think as much as you need. Let him know that nothing depends on him here.
If you have to experience emotional pressure quite often, then fall asleep for yourself the skills of the so -called unconventional communication. For this, the following phrases will be very useful to you: “This is interesting”, “I’m really sorry that you are so angry” or “It is worth it to think about it”.
You should not negotiate with blackmailers when he is in an annoyed state or even hysterical. And this is quite common with such people. In this case, your salvation can be another phrase from the methodology of unreasonable communication: “Let’s continue this conversation later, when you calm down and take yourself into your hands”. It is necessary to pronounce it in a strict tone that would definitely make it clear to the blackmailer that this conversation is finished at a given moment.
How to deal with emotional blackmail
And, in conclusion, to say to everyone who is forced to communicate with an emotional blackmailer, and is his object – the outcome of this type of blackmail depends on the behavior of the victim.
Correctly chosen behavior will allow you to be painless for your psyche and your psychological health to get out of this situation and at the same time will not exacerbate the behavior of the blackmail. And this is in your position – the most important thing.
